


Look Up and See

by Transom



Category: Coal Miner's Daughter (1980), Country Music RPF
Genre: Bittersweet, F/F, Implied/Referenced Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26878360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Transom/pseuds/Transom
Summary: Patsy means more to Loretta.
Relationships: Loretta Lynn/Patsy Cline
Comments: 5
Kudos: 4





	Look Up and See

There was so much she didn’t know. Her Mama just didn’t have the time, and she was the oldest girl, didn’t ever have a big sister. Maybe that was it. 

But there was more to it than that. She looked at Patsy and just felt _good_ all over, like a spring mountain morning, cool and damp underfoot. She looked up to Patsy, too, thought there couldn’t be _anyone_ who knew more about life. 

That went double for the strange things. The things Loretta would see on the road, that made her blush and feel all warm and like she couldn’t look away. She had walked in on people a few times, just like the bumbling kid she was, but it was usually the boys in the band, when they found willing girls for the night. It wasn’t usually anyone she knew too well, except one time. One time it was Patsy, and she was cozy with another girl, had her hand on her thigh. They were laughing together, had cigarettes in their hands and bottles of beer between their legs. And Loretta saw Patsy’s hand come up to that girl's cheek, her nails red and dangerous-looking against her white skin, her dark hair all curled just right. 

Loretta ran away, turned tail like a boy caught looking in a knothole. The next morning, it was all the same, and she didn’t say nothing to Patsy, and Patsy didn’t say nothing to her. They had coffee, talked about the next show. Patsy’s red nails were chipped; she had a smear of pink lipstick on her ear, and a lazy smile. 

Loretta was still too shy to say a lot of things, despite the way so much made it out of her mouth. So when Patsy winked at her from the stage, or they brushed hips in the aisle of the bus, or Loretta leaned up against her so she could smell her perfume, she didn’t mean nothing by it. It was all kid stuff. They were best friends, that’s what was right for them to be. Nothing more to say. 

But Loretta knew what she had to do to get where she wanted with Patsy, without having to say anything. She started crawling into her bed, pretending she was cold. Started sitting next to her at night before everyone else turned in, acting sleepy-drunk so Patsy would put her arm around her and she could cuddle up against the soft satin of her nightgown. She would feel bad sometimes, like she was one of those pushy guys that made the girls do what they didn’t want to do, but Patsy knew what she was up to, she was sure. Patsy knew _everything_. 

She knew how to make Loretta feel good, that was for sure. That was something she had only heard about, something Doo hadn't cottoned yet. Patsy could make her shiver, could make her cry, could make her sing. Could make her laugh when she nibbled on her neck and ruffled up her hair, could make her feel young and free and stupid again. She could be playing guitar on the bus, just strumming along, and Patsy would come up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders, give her a squeeze, smile down at her big and sweet when Loretta tipped her head back. Sometimes Loretta wished they could be like those couples that sat next to each in the diners, give each other a peck on the cheek, lips sticky with waffle syrup. 

It wasn’t right, the world let her know. But there was so much the world said wasn’t right. She was just a girl-singer, had no business writing her own songs and taking over her own life. She was supposed to look pretty and not wear makeup and not let another girl’s hand up her shirt, where only her husband had touched her. So, there wouldn’t be any coffee kisses for her and Patsy, even if she hadn’t been taken away so soon. But that was alright. Maybe another life, another road. Loretta could look up to the stars at night another time.


End file.
